I think I may be watching too many zombie movies. I’ve kinda been running a marathon of zombie flicks for the past week or so and it’s starting to mess with my head. I’ve been hearing bumps in the night, seeing shadowy figures outside my window, and hearing strange moaning in the distance. It’s been really hard to sleep . A shotgun under your pillow is less comfortable than you might think. It’s gotten so bad, this morning I even thought I saw a zombie in my toilet!
This can’t be healthy. I’m pretty sure my neighbors think I’ve gone crazy. They haven’t said anything but they were giving me dirty looks when I came out to check the razor wire around my perimeter. One lousy cat gets tangled up in it and all of a sudden I’m the bad guy. Well, we’ll see who’s knocking on who’s door when their supply of ammo runs low.
Oh, and if my mailman is reading this, I’m really sorry about the other day. It’s just that with that limp in your walk and the ketchup on your cheek, I couldn’t help but freak out. I guess I should have stopped chasing you when you were screaming away, but it was hard to hear you over the chainsaw. I hope you got the fruit basket I sent you. I would have hand delivered it if it weren’t for that pesky restraining order. BTW, I have a couple letters to send when you’re feeling better.
Anyways, I guess I should take a break from my zombie obsession. At least that’s what my court appointed therapist thinks.
Oh wait. The Walking Dead is on tonight. Never mind.